The Heroes

Started Tecmo in 1992 in Biloxi, MS. Brought the original NES to the dorm in 2009 and turned it into a multi-decade league. Holder of the most Super Bowls and the most records.

Fierce competitor and unrepentant record chaser — if there's a number on the board, he's circling the date he plans to take it. Forever associated with the infamous "Stomp," the kind of incident the league still won't fully describe out loud.

Run-and-shoot loyalist. Tied to Houston, Warren Moon, and Drew Hill — most of the league's gaudy passing numbers ride with him.

Raiders man early, Lions destroyer late. Bo Jackson seasons, then Barry Sanders carrying DET to Super Bowl 19.

Andre Reed superfan and second-generation Tecmo player. Quotes Bills history like scripture — give her a year and a Buffalo roster spot and she will tell you who lined up there, what they ran, and how it ended.

Picture Jesus in a flannel — turns water into IPA instead of wine. Reverent at the cartridge, irreverent everywhere else, and the only league member whose pre-game ritual doubles as a homebrew tasting.

Circus, tattoos, aircraft, and a pet corgi — the league's most improbable Venn diagram. Shows up looking like he just stepped out of a sideshow, then quietly runs Phil Simms back to the huddle for one more bootleg.

The all-American American — elite gamer across genres, from cartridge-era sports sims to whatever the kids are playing this week. Side hustle: rumored to cure arthritis on contact.

The 12-tier handicap pick teammate. Wins more Super Bowls than anyone wants to admit.

Best known for a semi-professional Halo career, and for taking sole responsibility for re-populating Western North Carolina. Brings sniper-grade reflexes to the cartridge and has the demographics to back the claim.